everthing changes in time
by AlyssaRocks
Summary: edward and jacob get into a fight over renesmee. how will bella react to this new obsticle, will jacob come back for his only true love? will their love blossom or will the over protective dad ruin it? set 5 years after bd. Supposed to be bad! Crack Fic!
1. Chapter 1

everything changes in time ch 1: the hunt

**disclaimer: I DONT OWN TWILIGHT!**

Renesmee's POV

Hey mom do you want to go on a family hunt today?" i said to my momma.

"sure honey, go get your father." so i walked into the living room and i said

"hey dad do you want to go on a family hunt with me and momma?"

"yea sure hun lets go."so as me and my parents walked out of of the house i saw jacob.

"jacob!"i yelled.

then dad said "STAY AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER!" wow what a jerk! I slowly started to cry just as my dad said that.

so i ran to the medow i heard someone talking then it stoped then there was someone running to me i turned around and it was jacob.

"I said what are you doing here i thought you were not allowed near me at all".

"I am not allowed its just that i want to see you really bad and i want to tell you that i love you".

" aww I love you to very much but my dad dose not want me near so how will i see you again.{'

"Nessy your father is trying to find you so we should run and hide togther."

' I here my dad coming i am scared when dad gets mad it is scary'.

" Nessy come out were you are hiding from or i will kill Jacob"

"Jacob I have to go I dont want you to get killed i love you so much, if you die I will kill myself".

'Good bye"

"sorry dad I did'nt mean to get you mad please forgive I think that I found some food for us over there I see some animals".

"Lets back an dget mamma."

"Nessy please do not do that again on me please i got really worried about you."

**A/N: cliffhanger! so how will bella react? will jacob come back to his love found out in the next chapter.**

**magic button down there! read- review- enjoy!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello every one this story is not meant to be taken seriously. It will evolve into a crack fic so please don't flame. I'm new at this.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight in any way... yet Muahahaha!**

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dad please /chap .#2

"why won't you let me see jacob you mom can see each other but i can't see jacob oh wow. "

"Because he is too old for you and dogs stink sorry nessie".

Me/Nessie "oh wow dad he is not too old for me i am a vampire and he is a wolf and he does not stink he smells like axe and i like that smell".

Edward/dad "bella can you come here please".

Me/Nessie "why do you always get mom involed like wow, what you cant take like a man".

Edward/dad " i am not a man I am a Vampire man duh".

Bella/mom "yes edward and what are you guys going on about now".

Edward/dad " Nessie is going on saying that she should see jacob after i said no".

Bella/Mom " okay i would like to hear nessie's part of the story now".

me/Nessie "umm... i just want to see jacob i miss him and he was the best thing that ever happend to me in my life".

Bella/mom "give me one reason why i should let you see jacob".

Me/nessie "because... remeeber when you dad got married".

Bella/mom "yes the most wonderful thing in my life".

Me/Nessie "well dad inprinted on you and you got married to him because you always wanted to be his side and i always want to be near jacob now because he inprinted on me and i really like him plus i want too spend the rest of my life with him and nobody stoped you and dad from being together.

bella/mom " ya and jacob is'nt with the bad wofles any more so i geuss you can go and see him now but no funky things".

me/nessie YES thanks mom i love you but what about dad".

bella/mom " i will give him a belola made present."

edward/dad " wow you let her go so fast".

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**Review please!**


	3. Chapter 3

chapter #3/ love at last

A/N: Hello again. Well I hope you like this chapter, oooh I'm gonna try to troll, to add to the crack fic now. I have a Beta, even though I don't need it. Just for ideas ya know? Anyy ways I don't own twilight or DTE (Dora the Explorer)

So after i ran away with jacob he asked me if i wanted to go on on a flight to a secrect island that my mother went to for her Honeymoon.

I said to jacob "Why won't we go for a swim".

He responed saying "As logn as ew don't dooo..." he trailed off.

"Have sex? I know I was there when my parentsid it."

Jacob said "alright then lets carry on" We walked around the beach holling hands and till he said "come jump in my arms give big daddy some sugar".

So i ran but he missed me and i fell to the ground.

"You stipid mothaer Fukaw!"

He walked away stopping and crying."

i ran up to him saying are you crying thats funny you are supossed to be brave and not cry like a little threee year old hehehehete.

Jacob said "No i am just sweating throw my eyes"

he also said " if you want to be rude and make fun of me i will drop you off and never talk to you again i am emotional you know"

I said fine bye.

A/N: pleas review and tell me if you want me to write more.


	4. Chapter 4

chapter #4/ i feel bipalor

A/N; its is supposed be funny and missed spelled because i am trolling but please review

While me and jacob were packing our things i turned my head and said to him "  
if feel like i was acting like a litttle kid i am sorry".

Jacob responed laughing "haha a little what are you on crack or something".

No i thought i would just say sorry like goshh you are such a birdbrain".

jacob said to me "lets just let the pass go and lets stay here because i love you and if we go back your crazy dad or should i say cat will hunt me down and start something".

Um excuze me my crazy dad ummm he is not scary he is tring to protect me and i love my dad and he is not a cat he just does not want me to get married to a dog or puppy.

jacob said"welll whatever you call your dad my kids arent going to have a vampire as the old hag".

ummm who said i was going to have my kids with you umm i dont want puppies and kitties runnig aroung like i feel like we are having a bipalor conversation.

Jacob responed saying'Fine lets just go to bed"

Umm i am not sleeping beside you

Jacob said "fine dont give big daddy sugar night".

A/N; please review and hopefully you guys like this chapter. 


	5. Chapter 5

Chap #5/ who THE HECK IS DORA

a/n:hopefully you guys review please and find it funny

i walk up in the midle of the nite and i turned my hed to see that big daddy wasnt there so i grabed a flash light and i heard a anoyying theme song so i walked in the living room, and i saw jacob kissing some cartoon character.

Who the heck is this

jacob responed saying "ummmm just my best friend".

who and ehy were you smouching with her aye

He said "Ummmm her name is dore and her show is dora the explore and sense you didnt give daddy sugar i called dora and she said she would give me some love".

um why is she cartoon and i do love you

"umm because she is cartoon and good night"

omg I will just give her a piece of my mind

"oh no you wont"

i slowly walked to dora and i tilted her head and i sucked bloood form her neck and went to bed

jacob ran to the bedroom cring

I woke up the next morning feeling normal

do-do-do-do-dora doo-do-do-do-dora dora dora dora the explore!

oh god not agian


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter #6/Oh No NoT Again

A/N:please review and hopefully like it

I woke up the next mornig and i was .ike why the hell do i still here this dora theme song so i turned to see if jacob was there yep he is stilll crying .

Hey jacob dont need to cry it was just a cartoon

He responed"Ya but she was just soo sweet until you came she is probably going to haunt us"

Suck it up take like man gosh your such a winnie... omg what was that noise i i i think you are right she is haunting us Quick call ghost buster.\

Jacob said "Dont worrie baby i will call them"

2 Hours Later

They just Knocked on the dora and i told them what happend i killed dora and now i think she is coming to haunt us please help us.

The ghost busters Said " Huh you killed dora your a demon"

jacob added his to scense and sid "She is actaully like one SORRY BABE"

Okay whateves but can you guys please get that dora ghost out please.

They responed "Yes we can but you guys will have to leave this house for 2 days and go to the mile away house down there"

OKay Bye...

A/N:what do you think is going to happend next will nessie survive living in a house with jacob for two days please review 


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